Recently, I found myself at a serious crossroads... I had to make an inevitable choice about where to do my National Service.
On paper, everything looked great. I had multiple premier offers, each with its own set of exciting opportunities. Anyone looking from the outside would probably think I was lucky... "You've got options! That's the dream."
But deep down, I didn't feel lucky. I felt stuck. The more I tried to decide, the harder it became. Every choice came with something I didn't want to lose. I'd make up my mind, then instantly start questioning it... what if the other one was better?
A few days later, I came across Barry Schwartz's TED Talk on "The Paradox of Choice." And it dawned on me... this was literally what I had been facing.
Schwartz explains that we live in a world that worships choice. We've been told that more options mean more freedom... and that more freedom leads to happiness. But as I listened to him, I realized how wrong that can be.
Having too many choices doesn't always feel freeing. Sometimes, it feels like pressure:
And that's when the so-called "freedom" starts to feel like a burden.
This leads to a big problem... we never get fully satisfied with whatever choice we make because it becomes like this: we tend to think the other choices we left behind had something better.
At the slightest discomfort or disappointment, our minds whisper... "Maybe the other one would've been better."
It's exhausting. You get what you wanted, but your mind won't let you enjoy it. There's always that little thought that maybe, just maybe, you could've chosen differently.
In his talk, Schwartz mentions two big effects of too much choice:
1. Paralysis — we find it harder to choose at all.
2. Decreased satisfaction — even after choosing, we're less happy with our decision.
And honestly, both hit home for me.
I realized I wasn't struggling because I didn't have good options... I was struggling because I had too many. I was paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong move. And even after deciding, I couldn't stop replaying the other paths in my head.
Schwartz ended his talk with something that really stuck...
"The key to happiness is having some limits... a metaphorical fishbowl."
That line hit hard. It made me realize that boundaries don't restrict freedom... they protect it. Without limits, we drown in endless "what ifs."
Sometimes, you don't need more options... you just need clarity. You need to decide, commit, and move forward.
Watching Schwartz's video made me rethink how I view choice. Having options is a blessing... but when there's too much of it, it quickly becomes a curse.
Real peace doesn't come from having it all... it comes from having reasonable expectations.
When we expect too much, we set ourselves up for disappointment. But when we lower our expectations and make peace with our choices, we free ourselves from constant regret.
Once you choose, accept it fully:
Because happiness isn't about finding the perfect option... it's about finding contentment in the one you chose.